Posing as something other than yourself is fatal to nearly any brand of happiness or health--ask anyone. But I think it’s almost as hard consistently being yourself. I don’t know about you, but prolonged vulnerability saps my energy reserve. The latter, though, comes with rewards, but that’s another topic. Nonetheless, when I go out on a weekend wearing precisely what I want--something precisely Michelle--self-conscious thoughts rule my headspace. Here’s a nighttime look and the rollercoaster monologue that came with it from a couple weekends ago.
- Just the word “gossamer” coming to mind repeatedly to a ‘90s house beat
- I can hear myself walk. Can everyone hear me walk?
- Is it really fashion if your main inspiration is Polly Pocket’s rubber wardrobe?
- Does my visible body acne say “see a doctor” or “confident qween”?
- Apparently, the prospect of going to a club packed with hotties will not keep me from wearing a “fuck social norms” outfit
- Don’t take that shot of whiskey
- THEY’RE PLAYING BRITNEY
- You had to take that shot of whiskey?
- Is this the right setting for an outfit like this?
- Is there any right setting for an outfit like this?
- When did I narrow my repertoire to one hairstyle?
- Why did I narrow it down to this hairstyle?
- Failing to avoid catching a glimpse of myself in the wall-to-wall bathroom mirror: I have become a caricature of myself
- Conclusion: not mad about it
- I am just a video vixen without the cool choreography
- On the dance floor: wow, I really have no cool choreography
- Evacuate the dance floor, Mish
- I can hear myself walk. Can everyone hear me walk?
- Is it really fashion if your main inspiration is Polly Pocket’s rubber wardrobe?
- Does my visible body acne say “see a doctor” or “confident qween”?
- Apparently, the prospect of going to a club packed with hotties will not keep me from wearing a “fuck social norms” outfit
- Don’t take that shot of whiskey
- THEY’RE PLAYING BRITNEY
- You had to take that shot of whiskey?
- Is this the right setting for an outfit like this?
- Is there any right setting for an outfit like this?
- When did I narrow my repertoire to one hairstyle?
- Why did I narrow it down to this hairstyle?
- Failing to avoid catching a glimpse of myself in the wall-to-wall bathroom mirror: I have become a caricature of myself
- Conclusion: not mad about it
- I am just a video vixen without the cool choreography
- On the dance floor: wow, I really have no cool choreography
- Evacuate the dance floor, Mish
Despite my doubts about this outfit I’ve learned this: faux patent leather might lose some of its luster when it catches more of last night’s drinks than you do, but it can be easily wiped away, and when it is, the magic is restored. And that’s more than a metaphor.